off to calavite

indolence has gotten the better of me these past few days and despite the surplus of observations i've managed to collect from the humdrum life i lead, i am now saddled with a burden: a writing backlog. but blogging my thoughts are least of my priorities as i prepare to hie off for an "exploration" climb to mt. calavite in paluan, occidental mindoro. in case i do not reappear after a couple of days, that's where the SAR operation is to be conducted.

i am leaving on this climb with jay raymund e. jallorina. the same guy for whom i've lovingly dedicated one entire entry. he has gotten quite a beating from me on this blog, and the guy doesn't have a clue, and yet, i am pretty excited about this weekend. he is, after all, my "best friend" in sierra. this'll be the first climb since i've joined sierra where there will neither be gin nor proletariat potshots flying across the campsite. just long, winding conversations, musings about the formations of stars, existential angst, attempts to delineate postmodernity and structuralism, discussions on the extraterritorial nature of terrorism, and... wait, this guy's from that school in taft. i doubt whether we can have any conversation deeper than the return of la salle's dominance in the UAAP.

anyway, before i go haul my bag outside my room to ultimately shock my mom who has been so worried about my leaving for the nth weekend in a row (especially on the heels of the prana incident), i'd better just say something rather troubling, and yet true. only recently, i had the strangest dream. in it, i walked out of my house and entered my huge backyard, which was being choked by a convolusion of plants and trees. as i was clearing a path for me to pass, i discovered a person hiding underneath a bush. i shout at this guy to leave, but he just looked at me, and gingerely moved out of the way. but before i could repeat my order for him to depart, other heads pop out of this tree and that tree, this bush and that bush. people sneak out of the tall grass, some in pairs, others in groups. i shout at all of them, telling them to leave at once. but they are almost unafraid, not wanting to leave the stations they've occupied in my backyard.

that's what i remember of the dream, and after a day or two, i've come to realize what it means. the backyard is my life as i have deftly described it in this blog, and the people there are well, people who happen to have the time to read my entries. what surprises me though, is why i've asked them to leave, when i've basically left my life open, free of any fences. that, after all, is a consequence of blogging. i suppose what that dream meant was that when later i realize that i've revealed too much of myself or my thoughts or my life on the net, there's no taking back, there's no saying it was all a joke. what my friends and other lurkers who i may not know personally have read will remain in their memories, and i cannot do anything to erase what they remember of me, lest they choose to forget.

regardless of what the dream actually means, blogging will continue. and my excitement about the trip further escalates. do pray for fair weather, and a safe journey.