say my name, say my name

phone rings

me: delegation of the european union to the philippines, alman speaking.

caller: pwede po ba kay attorney... quibo... bo?

me: maybe you mean mister quiboquibo?

caller: ahihihi. yun nga po.

me: this is he.

caller: sya nga po sir.

me: yes, this is he.


me: ako siya.

caller: ay, kausapin po kayo ni... [voice trails off]. ma'am. si attorney!

ma'am caller: yes attorney quiboquibo. tinawagan po kayo ni mister chainani the other day.

me: yes, i spoke to him, and i was trying to call back, but no one was answering your phone.

ma'am caller: yes, so pinapatanong lang po kung --

me: i'm sorry but i'm just a bit irritated. who was i speaking to earlier?

ma'am caller: ay yung assistant ko po dito --

me: well kindly tell your assistant that even her boss knows what my name is. even your commissioners know who i am. so i'm surprised that she does not. my surname is quiboquibo, not quibobo. kindly tell your clerk how my name is pronounced and how it is spelled. this is not the first time that your office has done this to me. you sent a letter to me and wrote that on the envelope. the next time someone addresses me as mr. quibobo, i will not respond because that person does not exist, and i certainly do not go by that name.

ma'am caller: ay sorry po attorney.

me: well your clerk better be... now, regarding mr. chainani's query...

i've grown accustomed to people misspelling or mispronouncing my first and last names, because they are both very unique. often, the l is replaced by an r, or a d is unnecessarily placed at the end. also, a hyphen has on occasion halved my surname. some people take other people's names for granted, but i don't. i'm very sensitive about the correct spelling, whether there's an h somewhere, or an e instead of an i. i seldom get irritated like i just did a few moments ago, but i just wanted to get my message across: mistakes like that show a very high level of stupidity and an absolute lack of professionalism. i used to gauge other people's intelligence or sophistication by how they initially responded to my name, if they snickered or raised their brows, or buckled when they said it. so make no mistake. my first name is alman. and my last name is quiboquibo. say it again. may lambing sa dulo.